THIS JUST IN!!! President Barack Obama is greatest President to play football since JFK.

In fact, our nation's first left-handed football playing black President can throw to Malia and Thalia AT THE SAME TIME!

Additionally, he can punt. He's punted on health care, Iraq and Afghanistan, everything...

Obama for Heisman 2009

It is my privelege and honor to congratulate President Barack Obama for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. His lengthy list of accomplishments include:

• Civilly disobeying by not voting on hundreds of laws in the Illinois State Senate
• Peacefully ignoring every promised change in foreign policy from the previous President's administration
• Hope.
• Change.
• He brought together a cop he insulted with an irrational professor to have a beer at the White House.
• Bravely wearing "mom jeans" at the MLB All-Star Game and then almost bouncing the first pitch in.
• Hope.
• Change.

There's many more but we wouldn't have the ability to list them all (not because of lack of motivation but because this is just too funny).

Please go here and submit President Barack Obama's name for a Heisman Trophy candidate.

I want to help Him win the Heisman Trophy. I believe it is incumbent upon the human race to support this Man in this endeavor.

Primarily because this man can accomplish things no one else has. Like the ability to give a speech that qualifies you to be President...AND WIN! Like the ability to be nominated for the most prestigious award in the world...AND WIN! Like the ability to make Chris Matthews pee down his leg...AND WIN! Like the ability to pass legislation...AND WIN! Oh wait...

Also, if you don't...you're obviously racist.